Thursday, November 09, 2006

Exploits of the Underemployed

There was a time when I worked four jobs, exercised regularly, took care of a toddler one day a week, attended art and music classes, renovated our old home and juggled friends, family and a relationship.

Over the past two years my employment status has dwindled to one part time position augmented by occasional shifts the Coffee Table and the odd DJ job. The house is fixed (for the most part), I'm not motivated to exercise and I'm in an emotional rut.

Simply put, I am bored, uninspired, short of cash and in a seemingly perpetual state of underemployment.

So, to combat those burdens, I have found ways to supplement my cash flow and keep occupied. One such outlet has been to participate in research studies. My latest is the Healthy Heart study at OSU.

Thus far my participation has included physical and psychological stress tests, the surrender of 32 vials of blood, catheters in both right and left arms, subjection to electrodes all over my chest, magnetic tape around my neck and torso, breathing into a snorkel with my nose plugged up while on a stationary bike, delivering an impromptu 3 minute speech on camera, a swish and spit test, and a 40 page nutritional survey where I was asked just exactly what kind of fat I use on my baked potatoes...butter, sour cream, margarine or olive oil.

I need another job.

1 comment:

pixelville said...


i'm totally gonna pass out when i do this next week. i'm never gonna get my 200 bucks.